*poodle girl, you are the queen of my world. 2001-07-05 2:38 p.m.*

my life is not on crack. it's on some sort of hallucinogen.

the past 24 hours have been so surreal. i don't even know how to explain it. after my entry, we went to return tsk's keys. he wasn't there when we got there and michael said, "he'll never even know." and i look out the window and he's pulling in. so i kind of ignored him while trying to be pleasant to his mother and then we left.

we were hungry and we'd forgotten it was the 4th so we decided to go downtown to get food. dumb! it was sooooo busy! and the pedestrians were crossing the streets whether the light was green or not. rar. so we decided to drive down 41 to see what there was. we stopped at el adobe, but they have absolutely nothing vegetarian apparently, so we went to chili's instead.

i've been wanting to go to chili's for ages so this was very exciting. but it was the most surreal time. we sat down at this table that had a sign with characters from where the wild things are looking at a pot of chili and that said "cat power chili." and on the tv, there was a tribute show for brian wilson. but the sound was off and the radio was on, but it was closed-captioned so i was reading aloud to michael as billy joel sang, "don't worry baby ooh don't worry baby ooh don't worry baby everything is going to be all right," 8 times consecutively. a cop came and sat kiddy-corner from me which seemed really funny, so i had to tell michael, but he heard and we just kept giggling. then his partner came in and we were still giggling and we heard one of them ask what was so funny. but i think the weirdest part was when i was watching the tv and darius rucker and matthew sweet started singing this song, and i commented on how strange darius rucker looked without facial hair. suddenly this one waiter, who was black and not our waiter, came up to me and said, "Excuse Me!" and we looked at him, puzzledly, and he said, "ain't chili's da bomb!"

on the way back we discussed how john demartino defines our friendship. how we've explained our obsession to a number of people, but no one but us quite gets it, and that's what makes our friendship, that kind of connection.

we got back to their house and kinaesthasia wanted to go to walmart, so we went and played with the accessories while kin did more productive things. i really want a giant fish pillow. if anyone cares. on the way to walmart, we saw this car that had a license plate thing that said "spread da aloha" so that was our theme of the evening. we were spreading da aloha all night.

then we went back to their house and got ready for the party at the boys' that i wasn't at all excited about. we drove there, and were on the road that boys live on when we saw all these people lighting off firecrackers. i looked and i said, "hey, isn't that ponyluv? that can't be ponyluv!" but it was and apparently she lives RIGHT by the boys. so we got all excited and invited her to the party, and then went skipping in the door. kin introduced us, i waved at someone i knew from middle school, michael and i looked at each other, and we ran out the door and went and played with sparklers and stuff with pony. she showed us her my little ponies, and i got all excited and wanted to stay and play, but michael was waiting for a beer from her particular boy, so we had to go back outside. and then we went back to the party which was pretty weird. i drank 2 smirnoff ices pretty quickly, and then we were told we should do pig shots. where you like this rubber pig, dip it in salt, like the salt, do a tequila shot and suck on a lemon. basically a tequila shot with a pig. we were not so excited about this so we decided we would lick the salt off each other. so michael licked my cleavage and i licked her neck and we did our shots. and then drank a lot of wine. they put on bootie music so we danced around and i started making orgasm noises if she even touched my arm. it was fun, but i was starting to feel less sexually fulfilled from all the alcohol and that was making me unhappy. i ended up talking to beautiful prince boy who used to come to new college parties for awhile, and trying to ignore michael and the boy's making outness. i was starting to get really bored and tired, and wanted to go home, but bonnie was way too tired. but poodle girl had shown up, and she offered to drive me home before her coke hit, so i took the offer, and wound up being the only person in their house, and just went directly to bed. i woke up at about midnight, desparately thirsty and about ready to start hugging the toilet. i walked into the kitchen and like a magic faerie, poodle girl was there and she was giving me a bottle of water. it made me feel very loved and taken care of. but the water made me pretty nauseous at first. i didn't puke but i sat with my head over the toilet for awhile, having some pretty bile-y burps. i finally worked up the energy to walk back to the bedroom, where i finished the water and went back to sleep, feeling fine when i woke up.

i'm pretty angry at myself about the whole getting sick thing. i think it's dumb to not drink water when you're drunk. i mean, it's like the easiest thing in the world to do, and it's going to save you so much hassle in the morning, and i have very little patience with hung over people because of that. but there i was, not drinking water because i couldn't be bothered. rar at me.

anyway, i woke up and it was an hour after michael was supposed to have gone to work and her work clothes were still in the house, and i didn't know where she was or how to contact the boy house, and i really wanted to go home. so i called mom's wokr but it turned out she had today off, so i called her at home, and we worked out a thing where i could get the bus to downtown, go to selby gardens and one of the people she works with who lives near us would take me home. so that's what happened, and it was really unfun. my backpack weighs quite a bit, and i swear i walked 2 miles with it on, looking for bus stops and getting lost and stuff. but i stopped at selby library and they have francesca lia block's the rose and the beast so i checked that out.

so, now i'm home, and i really want to nap soon. my kitten has gotten bigger. her stripes are more definied, her eyes are darker, and her body is just a bit more catlike. but she's still way evil. i got some dull and some exciting mail. my first paycheck, credit card bills and applications, columbia house crap, and 2 letters, one of which is actually on a scroll, which is way exciting. and in my emailbox, there was an email from adam finally. i was thinking about him on the ride home from selby gardens today, wondering how he was, if my email scared him completely. but he's actually back in florida, and he thinks we should hang out again, yay! it turns out that he thinks he might have had a little crush on me, too, back in high school. so i do wonder how my life would be different if he and i had gotten together. would i be a cynical alcoholic straight girl? *laughs* who knows? but it is adorable and flattering that he said that. he's a good boy and i'm glad we're getting to be friends and stuff.

meanwhile my credit card company is making me want to kick things. but i called my bank and transfered the balance that's over the amount that i just need to keep the account open, to my checking account and those 2 put together will pay off what i need to pay to the credit card company. and now i'm actually getting paid so that makes life a little happier. apparently, regina, my manager, kept calling my mom all during my week away (as did my credit card company). rar, that woman stresses me out. i'm dreading talking to her, because i don't have any appointments or really any prospects, until after this weekend. i would be tempted to just leave the phone off the hook or stay online all night, except james is supposed to call. and it will be happy to talk to her. i guess i'll just have to deal with talking to the manager.

*listening to: *
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