*cruising jupiter. 2001-05-31 10:48 p.m.*

diaryland, or my computer, ate the last entry i tried to write, and it was such a shame, too, because it had the sex in the truck story. i guess i'll tell it some other time. in lieu of the entry, i'm posting my email to adam and my conversation with james, with a few name changes. if james has a problem with me posting the conversation, i'll take it all off. i mean, i'll take the conversation down, or i can take out the im name at least.

email:

RE: i'm such a dork

we should move this to some sort of regular email type thing. www.highschoolalumni.com is too slow to type and my cache takes too long to bring the url up. but yeah, so my real email is [email protected] . i had a lot of fun talking to you tonight, and not just because anything to get me out of this damn house is fun. it's funny because we never really did know each other too well in high school. i guess you knew the back of my head pretty well in junior year. i was talking to james (my girlfriend) about that (the few ways we interacted in high school and how much shyer and stuff i was then), and she's having a hard time believing i ever had long hair. she teased me that i didn't talk about her enough, because i tend to go off for a really long time about how wonderful she is (don't worry, i'm not too insipid, we've only been together for a few weeks... it's new and so i talk about it a lot... and usually it's in context of "you know that girl i had a crush on for 2 months? we got together at my birthday party. now let me tell you how wonderful she is."), so i'm sorry if you felt your evening was any less for not having heard all about the joy and glory that is james. it's just weird because in high school i had a wee mini crush on you, so now it's like, "so i like girls now, and i'm with the best one in the world." like saying ernie's name it felt forced. it was true (as was ernie's name) but working it into conversation was tough.

but the point of this whole thing was not that... it was to say that i'm glad that we had a real honest to goodness conversation of the kind i was incapable of in high school, and that you're as cool as i thought you were in high school. but i do like girls, so sorry no crush.

you thought i lied when i said in my subject line, "i'm such a dork."

anyway... hope you enjoyed the ziti and the mason jar full of diet coke. my calzone and mason jar full of orange juice was fantastic. probably because we were in sarasota, and away from the frighteningness that is... venice!

conversation:

PeaceWarrior222: hey sexy

Esoterotictahini: rowr!

Esoterotictahini: and rar.

Esoterotictahini: so i'm writing someone an email right now.

PeaceWarrior222: oh my

PeaceWarrior222: and who would that be?

Esoterotictahini: oh, someone... really beautiful, great kisser, i have their photo on my dresser.

PeaceWarrior222: sounds nice should I be jealous

Esoterotictahini: it's adam.

Esoterotictahini:

PeaceWarrior222: I guess that ripping off your skirt didnt have the ffect you hopd for

Esoterotictahini: you should be incredibly jealous. i'm a good catch, you know.

Esoterotictahini: actually no. um, you might not be able to tell, but...

PeaceWarrior222: dont I know, I still wonder how I got someone so special

Esoterotictahini: i lied when i said it was adam.

Esoterotictahini: i meant michael.

PeaceWarrior222: reallly?

Esoterotictahini: no.

PeaceWarrior222: actually I did pick up on the sarcasm

Esoterotictahini: it was you.

Esoterotictahini: where you from, you sexy thing, you sexy thing you?

PeaceWarrior222: thank you darling...so how was the dinner?

Esoterotictahini: i do wish i didn't get that song in my head quite so frequently.

Esoterotictahini: good. it was italian. we had this crazy waiter named ernie.

PeaceWarrior222: crazy good or crazy bad

Esoterotictahini: there was this piece of paper on the table, instead of a table cloth, and he wrote his name on it.

Esoterotictahini: so we could read it.

Esoterotictahini: which means that he can write upside down!

Esoterotictahini: so i'm going to learn.

PeaceWarrior222: what was the restaurant?

PeaceWarrior222: I think that would be a useful skill

Esoterotictahini: so i can be a cat-petting, orange-feeding, upside-down writing... something.

Esoterotictahini: something dumb like "the italian grill restaurant."

Esoterotictahini: crazy good.

PeaceWarrior222: lesbian i think is part of the job description

Esoterotictahini: he wasn't just crazy because of the upside down writing thing.

PeaceWarrior222: oh?

Esoterotictahini: lots of really bad jokes.

Esoterotictahini: oh, yeah. i forgot. being that i'm head over heels for adam now.

PeaceWarrior222: i may cry

PeaceWarrior222: except for the fact that i know your my sexy lesbian

Esoterotictahini: of course.

PeaceWarrior222: yeah

Esoterotictahini: sorry... writing this email to adam.

PeaceWarrior222: cool...so i take it things went well then

PeaceWarrior222: or are you writing him hate mail

Esoterotictahini: it did go well.

Esoterotictahini: and no hate mail just got written.

Esoterotictahini: maybe you should check your own email sometime in the near future.

PeaceWarrior222: okay...give me a minute and i'll try on this computer although it might not work...her computers tricky

Esoterotictahini: but yeah... it was good. it's weird though because when we were talking i realized, "geez, we never talked in high school."

PeaceWarrior222: yeah

Esoterotictahini: he sat behind me in junior english, and my hair was down to my ass, and his hair was almost there.

PeaceWarrior222: wow you with long hair...what a trip

Esoterotictahini: and he would talk to the girl next to him, and she and i were friends-ish, so i'd say something every once in awhile. but mainly i was really really shy.

Esoterotictahini: and then my senior year, we didn't have any classes together, but she and he and i went to this restaurant and i wasn't a complete vegetarian but i'd stopped eating red meat 5 years before, but she talked me into getting a hamburger.

PeaceWarrior222: you shy...again a trip

Esoterotictahini: we talked about that tonight. he remembers it, too. we're trying to remember why we were at that restaurant.

Esoterotictahini: but yeah, i got really sick.

PeaceWarrior222: i cant go look at that email now cause the computer that can check hotmail accounts is already turned off and in the other room

PeaceWarrior222: im sorry

Esoterotictahini: and i remember driving back in her car, and he was in the front and i was in the back, and some loud-ness, such as kmfdm was blaring and i was wondering if this was what high school was supposed to be like.

Esoterotictahini: and... then at the beginning of the summer, he taught me a little how to play the guitar... but really... we weren't that close. it was nice to actually talk to him about stuff.

PeaceWarrior222: so did you talk about the whole Im gay now thing

Esoterotictahini: how is it that you can do im, but not hotmail? i'm not trying to pick on her computer, i'm just confused.

Esoterotictahini: well...

PeaceWarrior222: her computer has trouble getting hotmail...

PeaceWarrior222: I dont know what the problem is...let me try again

Esoterotictahini: "i'm having the hardest time finding a place to live."

"me, too. if i don't find one soon, i'll have to live in a box under my girlfriend's bed."

PeaceWarrior222: ahhh...very skillful

PeaceWarrior222: i wish i could work it in to conversastion that easily at home but i havent had a chance

PeaceWarrior222: now getting at the email

Esoterotictahini: and then, we drove all the way into sarasota to get food, and were talking about how we finally felt safe enough to eat once we were back in sarasota, and he said that venice is a scary place, and i told him this story about this time that chris and i had sex in 2 parking lots, and then got pulled over while just turning out of this road.

Esoterotictahini: and i was like, "my girlfriend at the time and i..."

Esoterotictahini: so, the whole gender-neutrality of "exish's name" didn't throw him off.

PeaceWarrior222: yes...what about us

PeaceWarrior222: ahhhhh

Esoterotictahini: ????

PeaceWarrior222: well you said that you and your girlfriendsnow...what did you say about us...you know im an ego maniac

Esoterotictahini: he's not the type of person i felt i could gush to with things like, "i'm with this girl from school and she's the most amazing person i've ever met, let me run into the house and get you her photo."

Esoterotictahini: i am very sorry.

Esoterotictahini: i thought something drastic had happened over there with the "ahhhh"

Esoterotictahini: but we said we'd email each other, and i'm sure he'll get plenty of gushings that way.

PeaceWarrior222: cool

PeaceWarrior222: now that youve brought it up i really want to read my emal...i wish i could get to it

Esoterotictahini: oh... and one time, we were talking about all the people from high school who got married, and he said, "i'm not planning on getting married anytime soon, because i plan to wander the earth, or at least that's what i tell people." and i said, "i tell people i'm not planning on getting married soon, because it's illegal."

Esoterotictahini: it's okay.

Esoterotictahini: i can tell you it was for adam, if you want.

Esoterotictahini: it was a gushy email all about how wonderful you are.

Esoterotictahini: to adam.

Esoterotictahini: not a word of how wonderful you are to you.

PeaceWarrior222: thanks sweetie

PeaceWarrior222: i appreciate it

Esoterotictahini: so where is the friend?

PeaceWarrior222: i told myself i would wait at least a week to ask you this...but i cant wait...when are you going to visit

Esoterotictahini: i don't know.

PeaceWarrior222: friend is lying on the matress on her floor and other friend is laying in the bed and they are watching tv

PeaceWarrior222: i, of course, am on the computer

Esoterotictahini: hello them.

PeaceWarrior222: they say hello back

Esoterotictahini: if my wings worked practically, i'd be over there in a second... or i'd put on something that wouldn't show my underwear to everyone underneath me, and then i think it would take longer than a second to get there.

PeaceWarrior222: yeah...

PeaceWarrior222: this is the time of day i miss you most

Esoterotictahini: but as i don't... and my credit card company refuses to admit that it got my last payment, so i'm deeper in the hole... and mom thinks i'm impractical enough as it is... and michael's in italy till the 15th...

PeaceWarrior222: small tears...well i will ber gone july 3 till the 28 so dont play on coming up then

Esoterotictahini: things do not look good.

PeaceWarrior222: i wish ic ould come to sarasota rather than visit my mom

Esoterotictahini: i want to be there now, darn it!

Esoterotictahini: why is life so hard, james taylor?

Esoterotictahini: why?

Esoterotictahini: why be jewish?

Esoterotictahini: why?

Esoterotictahini: how many roads must a man walk down?

PeaceWarrior222: i dont know...to make us better people?

PeaceWarrior222: i'd rather be bad than be away from you or be bad with you

Esoterotictahini: how long would i be able to visit, anyway... so i can think about how to work it into my schedule.

PeaceWarrior222: darling i hate to go but we've got to get up reeeealy early to run errands and so i can go to physical therapy...

PeaceWarrior222: i would say forever...i will try and ask tommorow ab out how long you can visit

Esoterotictahini: k.

Esoterotictahini: i love you oh SO much!

PeaceWarrior222: i love you soooo much my angel....i send you lots of hearts and kisses

Esoterotictahini: have fun with errands and stuff.

Esoterotictahini: <3

PeaceWarrior222: okay...talk to you tommorow?

Esoterotictahini: lots.

Esoterotictahini: yes. :)

PeaceWarrior222: bye sweetie

Esoterotictahini: byeeeeee!!!!!!

we are not gooey. at all. whatsoever.

*listening to: *
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