*thank you legs for buckling after a breakup. 2002-03-14 2:14 a.m.*

i spend so much time thinking. i wish my thoughts were deeper than they are. i guess "deep thoughts" are a fairly subjective concept anyway. i talk to people and they ask me if i'm okay, and a slow smile crosses my face, and i say that i am. and if they are in my "inner circle" they know what it is about, and it's probably terribly boring at this point. me and my shallow mind. why do people put up with it, really? i feel like i am not really so interesting, the way my brain flits back to topic #1 no matter what else is going on.

i saw my mom. kitten was very sweet to her, which was a good thing (did not make out with her armpit or shoe, however). i had a letter from clare, which is always a joyous occasion, and some bills and a credit card from home depot (?), and part #2 of james' present. not quite how i expected it, in a vaguely disturbing way, but the intention is obvious, and i think it will be okay, in the end. mom and i went to 2 senoritas, where we got to watch a child vomit. what is it with me, "mexican food," and vomit (or is it "vomit"?)?

i do have shin splints, oo baby. at least it makes me feel less like a wimp about life, but that makes me feel like i have more right to whine, which can't make me a pleasant companion.

and i got an amazing massage tonight, too, after waiting a good bit of time. being that i am me, and my bladder is what it is, and i drank as much water as i did, i did have to take a potty break midway through, but it was amazing. i drooled all over myself, which you know, is good for you all to know.

someone gave me an article written by alanis morrisette about her body, where it thanks every bit of it. and a cherry dum-dum lollipop. i inspected and it looked like i was the only person to get such things in my box today.

checked up with retro and these surprises were not from her, and so i don't know who to suspect. perhaps i have a secret admirer. i sort of doubt that, which sounds bitter and all that, but i mean, who? but yes, good chattings were had with retro and michael. told traumatic stories about this girl who used to pull my hair and sing "boys of summer." my life has been a strange one, really.

discussed topic #1 with michael as we drove to and from kash 'n' karry. we think we made this sketchy guy in a black car think we were stalking him. i didn't think that was a good idea, because he might have a gun, since all people with black cars have guns, (jennifer connelly, we may start calling you "gun totin' [your real name]," btw) but we arrived at kash 'n' karry safely. and they had those mysterious vegetarian pot pies that john recently bought, so i got to share michael's with her. kind of eerie, but enjoyable. like so many things.

sometimes there are people who you just really want to hurt as they go about doing what they think are good deeds. if only they knew quite what they were doing. however, if they knew, they would not keep it safe. that's not in their nature.

i wonder if my kitten could keep a secret, were she human.

*listening to: *
<<< | >>>

*<<<<<* *<<* *<* | *>* *>>* *>>>>>*
*random* *list*