*(yeah, so i think the concept was a little better than the product, but...) 2001-12-12 10:13 a.m.*

drink water before you go to bed.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, water would be it. The hangover-prevention benefits of water have been proved by drunken nat sci students, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of the bay. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of the bay until your fourth year. But trust me, in 4 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how many opportunities you had to go to the bay and how many times you almost went. It is not as long a walk as you imagine.

Don't worry about your thesis. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to find someone who's read as much Foucault as they refer to. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 9 a.m. in some final exam.

Eat something vegan every day.

Sing late-era Paul Simon songs (naked).

Don't be reckless with other people's secrets. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on optional reading. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The year is short and, at the end, go back and read it.

Remember the four winds egg and cheese croissants you eat. Forget the ones from Marriott. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old evaluations. Throw away your old residence life bulletins.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do your thesis on. The most interesting 4th years i know don't know what to do their thesis on. Some of the most interesting 8th years I know still don't.

Get plenty of sleep. Be kind to the cleaning staff. You'll miss them when you live off campus.

Maybe you'll have a threesome, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll kiss a person of the same sex, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll go to every naked party, maybe you'll go to an orgy after you graduate. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate the first years too much either. Your perceptions are all yours. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you are the only person at the wall.

Try to make your papers as long as they're supposed to be, even if you have to change the margins.

Do not read catalyst articles about yourself. They will only make you feel misquoted.

Get to know your professors. You never know when you'll have to ask them to sponsor something. Be nice to your ra's. They're your best link to toilet paper and the people most likely to let you into your room when you lose the key.

Understand that friends from your first year come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who can tell you how horrible the school they transfered to is or how scary the real world is.

Live in dortstein once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in b-dorm once, but leave before it makes you soft. Do a semester abroad.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Housing prices will rise. Marriott will suck. You, too, will be a fourth year. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were a first year, housing prices were reasonable, marriott was better and first years respected fourth years.

Respect fourth years, dammit!

Don't expect anyone else to have done the reading. Maybe you have a great loan. Maybe you'll have a great sponsor. But you never know when either one might become president of the school... oh wait, um...

Mess with your hair as much as you can, or else you might just have to chop it off at graduation.

Be careful whose drugs you buy, but know those who deal it. Dealing is a form of making money. Making money is a way of getting enough to pay for a child sized bike.

But trust me on the water.

*listening to: *
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