*absolutely nothing about spanky's wagon or toilet duck, despite the fact that i remember them fondly. 2001-06-09 8:43 p.m.*

listening to rasputina, tonight. it makes me think of this girl i met in stirling scotland and this song she used to sing, "ra ra rasputine, lover of the russian queen. ra ra rasputine, russia's famous love machine," and how they played that at g.a.y. camp attack in london, which is where i met spook.

but anyway... i came online to be all disgruntled about the lack of job prospects, and to philosophize on why i am so disgruntled. things about "do what you love the money will follow," and how i'm doing what i love to do in the summer, which is read, and i'm doing a great independent study project, but none of it is adding to "the money," and how that's what's stressing me out. and i was going to talk about my questions of how i got such expensive tastes if i was raised poor, and how i've never really felt poor, but now i know i really can't lean on my mom for financial support anymore, because she just can't do it. that kind of thing.

but i was greeted by an "auuuuuuuuuurrrrgh!" (possibly different spelling) from my husband, and we discussed our summer boredom and what's stressing us out and we discovered that one thing that's stressing us out is that we seriously don't know where we're going to live in the fall, so you know what that led to. so, now, mr. and mrs. us are a house-hunting unit, rather than 2 solitary wandering souls, so that's kind of exciting. we'd have a great house, i think, with his artwork and stuff (the foot table, yo! the foot table!) and we'd have grahnd pahties. nothing better than a gay guy and a gay girl to make a house, n'est-ce pas?

my day started out so nicely. i heard the phone ring and my mom answer and i could tell from the way she was talking that whoever it was thought she was me, and no one would call me really, right now, except for james, so i called to my mom that i was awake, and she brought the phone to me, and we talked for a very long time. i was sleepy and the phone was pissy, so some of the communication was hard, but it was just so nice to hear the girl. i like waking up to her. she's in south dakota now, and she's making it sound really nice. she's there for a memorial service, and it sounds like they're celebrating life more than mourning death, which is cool. also, she's got this awesome phone card with lots and lots of minutes, so she will be calling me tomorrow. oh joy oh rapture!

after i stumbled out of bed, had brunch and stared at things for awhile, mom and i went to spanish point. i haven't been there since i was 9, but i think that year i went 3 times. once for a field trip, once for a wedding that dad played music at, and once because dad knew a guy who was painting one of the buildings. once again, we got in free, as v.i.p.'s because my mom knows a woman who works there. that was good, because we were thinking of leaving when we saw admission was $7. but it's a beautiful place. i particularly loved mary's chapel, and the pergola where mom and i pretended to be maxfield parrish girls, and i told her about last night's entry. turns out that i missed a house between the 1st house and the swing porch house. i guess we lived in a duplex with their friends for awhile. also, mom lived in myakka for awhile one summer while i was visiting my grandparents.

i read m.e. kerr's night kites today, which got better and sadder the more i got into it. i thought it was going to be your typical "boy likes best friend's girlfriend, ruins relationships with him and his girlfriend, him and his best friend, and his best friend and his best friend's girlfriend, but all works out in the end" story. but a lot of it was about homophobia and AIDS, which was pretty intense, because it was copyrighted '86. and things really weren't worked out in the end. yay good teen fiction! now i'm reading another isp book. i've got 4 more library books to read by the 19th, though, and lots of my own books i want to read. i'm such a bookworm. but books are so yummy. can't i get paid for reading these books?

*listening to: *
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