*someone should sign my guestbook. 2001-05-28 1:22 p.m.*

listening to the tcr cd that i bought from patrick hippy without even seeing him. it's already making me all new college sentimental in the way that i get. i actually only saw tcr once all semester i think, and that was earth day and really i was waiting for twinkle, but i danced around in the joy that that day created. that really was a marvelous day. hilary swank is so cool for having pulled that off. i wish i was a better help for her, but i did flip out quite a bit mid-semester. but the point is not to get back into my mid-semester angst but to remember the beauty of earth day.

i called adam and we're going to get together on thursday. he's in brandon right now, but he's going to drive all the way to venice to see me. i'm pretty excited, but also kind of weirded out about the whole situation. i haven't seen the boy for 3 years. i don't know who he knew me as. i certainly was very different from who/how i am now, and i don't entirely remember who that old me was. i know i was shy and incredibly afraid of myself and the world, but i guess i seemed all right to good ol' cynical adam. he says he hasn't talked to anyone from riverview since we graduated, except maybe nicole once. i tried to get ahold of her last semester, but it didn't work out. the wierd thing is that he says he actually misses riverview a little. if anyone wouldn't miss riverview, i'd think it would be him. but now he's doing that whole "i don't want to go to grad school but my family wants me to, i just want to graduate and become a bum," thing, while at riverview we at least had something to look forward to. something that was bound to be better than this. and i'm sure he's doing wonderfully at nyu, but i'm sure there's some of that whole big fish small pond/small fish big pond thing going on for him. my best friend was valedictorian of her private school (70 students 6-12 grade) and new college bit her butt. she's back at the day care she worked at in high school, and way happy. but the point is-- college is different from high school. my am i being deep.

i took a nap today, but i do not feel more awake. i'm looking at the world through a veil of snot. i hope i'll survive this paper i still need to write. i need to do it tonight. but right now my brain is fuzzed.

i finally wrote my grandparents a thank you note for my birthday check. it was nice, being in my room, while mom had ricki lee jones and "antique roadshow" on in the living room. kitten was going crazy with some new toy somewhere. the rest of the cats were hiding. we never thought habib would be such a chicken. silly silly cat. ferocious is not so ferocious as she wants you to believe.

*listening to: *
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