*"what is your cat's name?" "my secret agent lover cat." "what is its FIRST name?" "my?" 2001-05-26 3:10 p.m.*

my kitten will have no more fleas and all will be happy in the world (there will be much rejoicing). m.i.t.'s ex-girlfriend took me to petsmart because the sunflower place was closed. now i can take the kitten home with no qualms. yay kitten!

yesterday before graduation my mom and i had a big argument about my kitten's fleas. since i am going home with her, and since she has 3 flealess cats she was less than pleased about the prospect of bringing a kitten with fleas home. my mom is usually very calm about most things so it was kind of scary the way she flipped out about it. this morning i got home to an email about how she was sorry and that she had a headache and that she just got her second period this month and that was why she was so grumpy.

which is fine. but i am still kind of weird about the whole going home thing. it's hard because i know i will have to find a job and i know it will not be fun or easy finding one.

graduation made me sad yesterday. but happy, too. the usual things. there are so many people who it seems so weird that i may never see again. but it was wonderful thinking of their opportunities and just seeing their new college wonderfulness. things do change. it's rough as all hell sometimes, but it is for the best.

james is gone now and that makes me incredibly sad, but i'm feeling calm right now. i know that we will see each other sometime this summer and then we will get back at the end of the summer. and part of me is scared about the summer, just because of what happened last summer, but most of me knows that whatever happens will be good. right now we are so good for each other. "we complement each other." "yes, i say you are beautiful quite frequently."

this morning i met the exish's girlfriend. she is friends with james, which has been so odd to me. but the girl is very sweet and she congratulated us as she left. i think the exish is happy and that makes me very happy. i saw her at graduation last night and sort of hid, though what i'd like to do, really, is hug her. but i know she wouldn't want that, and i know she would rather i stopped existing. so i try to exist as little as possible when she is around. but yeah, her girlfriend seems really good for her.

patrick hippy wants to hang out tonight. that boy's existence makes me so happy. i feel so cool when he says he likes hanging out with me. i am so popular!

(yes, i will miss your eyes your hands your voice. i will miss holding you and being held. i will miss swapping "this is what you did while you were asleep" stories in the morning. i will miss the way you feel so right the way we feel so right. i will miss telling you i love you because i do love you.)

*listening to: *
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