*i think when i go, it will be by train. i'll see more that way and i can take more with me. 2002-08-11 3:26 a.m.*

it's been a whole week. things have happened. my dad handed me $1000 in cash. i printed out 100 copies of my zine and did nothing for 3 days but copy cut collate tie stuff send. i got a mix cd from this one. i almost lost a roommate for next year, but it got sorted. stuff has happened.

but it feels like this week has been about not wanting to get out of bed, not leaving the house, lots of tv and neopets and photoshop, crying over stupid commercials and the land before time, wondering if i'm going crazy as my typoes get more and more inexplicable and my brain feels farther and farther away from me. maybe it's my last moment to be self-indulgent, sad, and alone before the semester starts and i will at least have classes to go to. so i wrap myself in blankets against the light of day and get snappish with people who i only know through the words they send me through these wires. i read in 5 page blocks before my brain shorts out again and i have to watch a movie or play more neopets or something. i've got a 16 year old in maine who wants me to be her girlfriend, but not as much as she wants this other 22 year old to be her girlfriend, and the whole thing amuses me. and it hit me i have absolutely no romantic interest in anyone right now, except perhaps sherilyn fenn.

oh, the inertia of sad. it just happens sometimes.

*listening to: *
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