*thank you, holly hughes. 2001-07-07 12:17 p.m.*

"All I can think is: Thank God, I've got an audience. At least one pair of eyes are on me as i stumble through the story (stories) of my life (lives). And they're paying attention. I can tell they're following me, even though I'm plainly lost, because there's a light shining out of their eyes. I make my way along in this light, knowing I'm being watched. Not in an Orwellian sort of way but watched in the sense of being watched over, guarded.

Having an audience is a form of protection. It's like having the light of a hundred tiny private suns helping me find my way from one side of the story to the next.

What does my audience get from this? What's in it for them? Can't be sure. I take the light to mean my work is working for them, and I hope it'll work for you in some way. There's something I want to give you, something I hope you can use. Of course, I'm never sure how it will be used, and there's always that chance that what is found here will be used against me. Still I know I need the light of your eyes on me. I never would have found this place without you. Thank you for coming. I need to be watched like this. I couldn't do it on my own."

~Holly Hughes, Clit Notes

thank you holly hughes for describing why i olj, better than i ever could.

*listening to: *
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