*and now i should do work. 2001-09-04 8:00 p.m.*

let's see, what to talk about today. it's so rare these days that i have the opportunity to update that i feel like i have to have it sort of themed or else it will wind up being a sort of random dull catalogue of events. sort of.

i think i want to write an entry about the good things in my life, because i feel like my recent entries have kind of been of the "my life sucks" genre, when really things have been pretty great, but i'm not entirely sure how to articulate how things are good, so i'll start out with telling you that i'm seeing a counselor at parkview now.

i think this is something i really need to do. a) to work out issues with my dad, and b) to figure out how to make my issues into what they're really about and not letting my brain twist them into some random reason why i am a horrible person and why this little thing in my life is all my fault and therefore a tragedy of high degree (oh she was a lass from the low country and he was a lord of high degree and she loved his lordship so tenderly and sorrow sing sorrow now she sleeps in the valley where the white flowers nod and no one knows she loves him but herself and god.). and i told her this. it felt weird and suburban and type a to walk into her office and lay out my goals. since when have i had goals. but yeah, i just laid them out for her. and apparently she's "really excited to be working with" me. i "have good energy," and i'm "very honest." and yeah, she's "really glad [i] came to see [her]." that's a little intense, honestly.

i just sneezed.

so, yes, good things in my life. well, one good thing is the ever wonderful and adorable jennifer connelly who is letting me use her computer right now. and she's not just wonderful because she lets me use her computer and phone and because she feeds me, but because she is so her! she was just saying about how she knows very few new college people on diaryland, and i think that's sad, but not really for her but for them, because everyone should have a jennifer connelly-y friend.

oo, i will tell you about the night of the drum circle. papaya emailed me and the listserv as well about this drum circle, and i forwarded it to james and jennifer connelly, and so we all decided to go, and we did and it was superfantasticfunfunfun! we went with weirdelfboy and number one, and osk and asia were there and of course papaya and hilary swank, and even this woman who's friends with my parents, because that's what happens when your parents are hippies and you go to a hippie school in the same town you grew up in.

the best part was dancing with james. i just asked jennifer conelly if she saw us dancing, and she said yeah, and she sort of grinned and i asked if we were supercute and she nodded. and then i apologized if i was annoying or bothering her with being in the best relationship ever.

i've never danced with james before and i really like the chemistry we have together when we dance. it was so not the michael and i leghumping or fondling dance. it was like a tango except we barely touched. it was a moondance of the best sort. can you tell i'm having a hard time describing it? i guess i will just leave it to our memories.

we left the drum circle and the three of us played in the fountain and then jennifer connelly fed us. it was a really good night.

i do so love my james. we have such good times. and she's so beautiful, especially when she smiles and when she laughs. oh i want to go on and on but it will be in abstracts and i want to write more concretely about something, but i just don't know what.

tonight will be pies and fries! score!

*listening to: *
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