*let me tell you something about america. 2002-05-27 1:54 p.m.*

interesting day thus far. i woke up to the phone ringing, and for this first time since michael left, i think, it was for me. it was my dad and he was on mecca and wanted to talk to me about something. so i got up and got dressed and wandered downstairs, groggily.

first off, my grandma's husband had a ministroke and has given up the will to live, so he's going over to see her today. that's really rough for her, but also, something that has some good in it. mainly, it's that she's had to take care of him for the past few years and hasn't been able to do a whole lot for herself, so hopefully, she'll be able to go out and do some of those things that she's been missing. also, he really hasn't been doing well for awhile, so.... yeah... it's probably time.

then he told me about some money he's supposed to be coming into, and also that he can give me some money on friday, so if that really happens (i'm not getting my hopes too up, because i've been disappointed about things like this before), i'll be able to pay my rent, woo!

also, he told me that "when" i get my license, i can have "this chick magnet," which was the car he was driving, a black convertible. yeah, sexy car. made me go "hmm" for a minute about the driving thing. but also at the same time... i don't want to drive. and i don't like being bribed. i mean, i understand where he's coming from on wanting me to drive, but i don't want to.

but he took me out in the car and we drove around for a few minutes, and then came back. he gave me some bananas, and i gave him some water, and when he hugged me, he started crying. he told me that he hopped the money would be enough, and then he wiped his eyes.

i feel like this is an entirely dry and emotionless retelling of the whole thing. but frankly, the man confuses me, my brain and my emotions, and i'm not sure how to take any of it.

*listening to: *
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