*and yes, i can see you ignoring me. 2002-07-07 10:26 p.m.*

i've been struggling with the foul mood from hell the past couple of days. i've had "grey" by ani on repeat for far longer than i car to admit, but now i put in an "anger" mix of cds. what's even more angrifying is that i have no idea why i'm in such a mood, but it feels like it's about ready to gobble me up. i'm about ready to kick someone in the teeth for looking at me the wrong way.

i'm pretty sure it's just feeling very stagnant and trapped in that way that i sometimes do in the summer, when the heat keeps me indoors, and my days feel so very routine. i think i've been fighting this for awhile, but it was all exacerbated by the general crapitude of this week, with the vomitting and the rent stuff. the muppets take manhattan made me cry today.

it definitely has to dowith that feeling of being at the edge of something, and having so much potential and wanting to run with it, but knowing that you have to stay where you are doing these things that you've been doing for a little while longer before you can play with this life thing. and knowing that you're romanticizing the hell out of it all, and you're going to have a lot of the same problems after you're done with this part of your life, and it's scary and... you're also quite lonely. you feel like the loser antisocial roommate and that doesn't make you feel anymore social.

*listening to: *
<<< | >>>

*<<<<<* *<<* *<* | *>* *>>* *>>>>>*
*random* *list*