*last night/this morning's entry wasn't too bad, but... 2002-07-03 5:36 p.m.*

i'm taking a personal day. i can't go to work today. it's just absolutely impossible, thanks.

i just discovered that there were 4 messages for me on the voicemail, some at least a week old, all from my dad. he's living with his mom, and going to go to rehab.

apparently the car accident was a result of poor mixings of drugs. (at this point, retro, i'd scream at pav about how he was going to fucking lose his arms, etc., etc.) he also told me that he lost a mole. from his face. apparently somehow in the accident, it got ripped off.

so i was already considering taking the day off when i spilled fruity pebbles all over myself and the beanbag and the floor. i went to the bathroom to clean myself up, and guess what i discovered. yes. i am bleeding.

so. no work for me. i couldn't do it. it just wouldn't work. when i called in, she actually interrogated me, and john was already gone, and i was feeling pretty miserable, so i just started crying. which, you know, i didn't want to do at all, but... it adds credibility to the day off. i wound up babbling at her for a very long time, and she told me to work more hours on saturday. but then she seemed okay with things when i told her i was already going to work 8 hours on saturday.

but i mean, i'm still working 16 hours this week. and getting paid for 21, because of tomorrow being a holiday. so see, i'm working more than a lot of people who already are working their scheduled hours for the week (you could work 15 hours this week, with the holiday being there). and i'm getting paid more than for any week over the school year. but yeah, i still feel guilty.

i just feel generally bad right now. on a lot of levels.

*listening to: *
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