*lumina, come and wrap around me. 2001-07-03 12:29 p.m.*

time, which was so fortuitously speeding by in the week before the trip, is currently kicking my ass.

my flight leaves at 11-ish (i don't want to look at the flight time today, thanks), and i made the horrible mistake of looking at the clock at 11-ish today. it made me groan in the way that it made me giggle and grin when i realized that it was just 24 hours before this trip started.

sometimes, when i'm in the bathroom, still deaparately trying to figure out if i actually have my period, i do weird math problems. figuring out the ratio of the time that we have left till school starts to the time since school ended, or to the time since we got together. horribly depressing stuff like that. i have this unfortunate tendency of ruining my moments by anticipating the next moments.

which contributes (though does not entirely account for, of course) to my sexual voraciousness. it's like i want enough to hold within me for the rest of the cold summer months. cold summer months. man, am i dramatic. it is why i ask for all the things that were promised to me while we were away from each other, because it was so long waiting for them, and i don't want to wait another span of time that's actually longer than the first. i should just enjoy our time, but i find myself anticipating regretting not getting all i can out of this trip, like there's more to this trip than the trip itself.

and the trip has been wonderful in so many ways, and i even really think the tears have been worth something. but i know my neck will miss her lips, the backs of my knees will miss her fingers, my breasts will miss her tongue, my ears will miss her happy sighs. because they're dorks and they already sort of are.

bleh. it sucks to be high maintenance.

*listening to: *
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