*you better you better you bet. 2001-09-18 9:10 p.m.*

i feel very very calm today. i had a good talk with my counselor and a date at el greco followed by sitting on the beach with my girl trying to nap with her head in my lap, and i'm feeling a lot better. the counselor thing really helped me put things into perspective, and just someone telling me that it is okay that i'm taking time to heal and not doing work and crying a lot and all that stuff that makes me feel so disappointed in me made me feel better and i even did some work. and it was nice to have some time with james and to talk about some things that have been on both our minds.

i talked to my mom yesterday and she called again today because apparently i didn't sound at all like myself. she said she told one of her coworkers that i seemed like i was in shock. but we talked for a really long time today and it was really good and i think she can tell i'm doing better.

and my computer's dsl is finally working.

and i should reply to reverend andrew james brown because it took the world trade center thing to get him to email me for the first time since i left cambridge before christmas.

*listening to: *
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