*vagina lollipops and nose virginity. 2002-02-18 11:17 p.m.*

i'm writing this in a library computer, trying not to leave too many cache traces. trying to seem like i'm not clicking away at an email. but michael is printing things here and i'm not sure what else to do with myself.

a lot has happened since i last wrote. most of the good and exciting ilk. a lot of things chemically enhanced. not sure how i feel about that really.

but yeah, the vagina monologues went splendidly as usual, and now i have an "enjoy vagina" shirt. the day before i went, or maybe it was the day before the day before i went, buttercup brought me a vagina lollipop, which is certainly one of the most exciting presents ever. fish and cloud also sent me their pride symposium shirt that i have always admired which was also up there in my top gifts ever. but yeah, then they were selling vagina lollipops at the vagina monologues as well. woot woot!

anyway... pcp was also a good time. i got pretty damn drunk, but less of the falling over type of drunkenness than the telling people they're cool and beautiful drunkenness. i felt that desire i sometimes get to tell people who i'm usually afraid to tell, how beautiful they are. i even sort of have like a list in my head, and if i don't see everyone in my mental list i get kind of disappointed. but yeah, i feel like i pleased, but also embarassed a bunch of people. and then after pcp reached its peak of anticlimacticness, we went back to megan's room where wt was falling over, and i had the brilliant idea to confess to achlis all the reasons i'm afraid of him and act weird around him. the highlight of this would be telling him i was an "assfuck." ah, the eloquence of drunkenness.

and then i got to hang out with jennifer connelly's frat boy dad and mom-ish mom, and that was fun and they bought me lunch and ice cream, and gave her a car!!!

but yes, so then last night, michael brought me a pot brownie she won at the scavenger hunt, and i got stoned, which was exciting. i heart stoned! *laughs* i giggled a lot and told many of the bad jokes, and talked about how i didn't want to ever snort drugs because i was afraid i might bleed when i lost my nose virginity, and all kinds of other gems of stoned wisdom. we talked about stoned related horniness, and awhile later she asked if she could spend the night (in a less sexual way than this is sounding), and i said yeah. but earlier we had talked about how it was funny how in their first year she and kin would have visitors and leave them in the room while they went and had "egg time," and so i told michael that if she spent the night, i'd have to have "egg time," and so she went downstairs and watched tv with john. she'd told him i had a phone call, and so when i came downstairs i told her "she was really good. she called twice." (which is unusual, i have to say.) but by then michael had pretty much sobered up and decided she was going to go home. but yeah, it was a really fun time.

and then today i went to the four winds and had a really good time with james. i like it when we have good times. and then after she left i discovered i was customer of isp, so they took my picture and that was exciting. and i talked to people, and found out some interesting things, like that it looks like no one is actually planning queer ball, so i think i'm going to do that. shit. and i got to tell another of the people i never tell is beautiful that they were beautiful, and told them about how i'd been looking all over at pcp to tell them.

i need to be more brave with this compliments thing. i used to be, but then life got scary. maybe it will be less scary if i continue trying to be brave about compliments.

*listening to: *
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