*touch me, i'm so beautiful. 2001-07-23 7:56 p.m.*

i'm in thryn's computer lab with a michael behind me, and an open game of freecell. i've been playing freecell obsessively these days, to the point that the only thing that's sort of making me not want to play it right now is that i'm doing really well, and that won't be recorded in the stats on my computer. i'm such a dork.

thryn just came out of her office with the boy of my very first girlfriend ever. it's so odd seeing him. i broke his microwave. like those are the two things that i think when i see him ~ "he's her boy" and "i broke his microwave." not considering, at all, the conversations we had between the 2. 'cause we were sort of friends and stuff. but once they started dating i got all shy and shit around both of them, and so i don't even really think i exist to him anymore. though who knows. for the first month that she and i were together, i had dreams that her ex-boyfriend would compliment me on my haircut.

this is not interesting. what is?

i had one of the best mail days ever in the history of the world today. i got the checks from the boys for our house, so tomorrow i'm going to meet the landlord at starbucks and give him my check, and then it's sooo ours! woo-ha! and i got some catalogues, and a letter from a pen pal... and this thing that i bought for james 'cause i'm a dork like that (and it's related to my current poll, so you can see i'm a superdork), and though i think she'll get to see it before she reads this i won't say anything else just yet. and a sweet sweet sweet letter from her with a mixtape that's oh so exciting. it's got all those sort of our songs, and screenwriter's blues which makes me think of our visit to tallahassee now, and some songs i don't know, and some songs i'm so glad she likes, and yeah... it's good stuff. i have "touch me fall" in my head, which belongs to the last category.

i don't know if you remember my entry when i was talking about how i felt i sort of felt like i experienced the perfect closing scene for the movie of last semester. when i was in john's room and heather was there, and we actually interacted and stuff. last year was so eerily movie, and it had such perfect closure. and i'm starting to feel like the sequel is starting. it's sooo very sequel that i'll be living with john and stuff. either that, or it could be like last semester was a sitcom and this will be our reunion movie. that explains heather's not going to boston, i guess. hm... i dunno. it's all too weird for me. but i like it. but i have to stop thinking like this, really i do, because i do start getting caught up in the drama of it, and wanting to plan things out to be perfectly movie. but my life is just a life, and it's not supposed to have perfect closures and great lines. which is why they're so enjoyable when they do happen.

michael and i went to albertson's and its liquor store and got stuff for making pina coladas, so that should be fun. i feel selfish though in my reaction to her inviting kin and poodlegirl and her boy to drink with us. it makes me wish i'd gotten a bigger bottle, and that i had gotten money for it. not that i want to get pissed off my ass, but i dunno, i bought the alcohol, i'd like to drink it. but i'm not too distressed, really, just sort of annoyed. *shrugs* we went out to eat at 2 senoritas again, which is so funny because that's where i had my lunch from at work yesterday. but it was soooo good that i just really wanted it again. and so i got another black bean burrito, and yo, that shit's only $2.75! too great! but yeah, i'm living large on the $20 cash my dad gave me. and the $50 check my grandparents gave me. i think i'll send some of it to the credit card company and surprise them. can't wait for those scholarship checks though.

*listening to: *
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