*more of the randomness. 2002-01-16 1:19 a.m.*

the me is sleepy, so i'm not sure how interesting this is going to be.

i keep thinking about how crazily quick this month is going. i have to rewrite one more isp paper and it just seems like with the speed of this month i'll just miss it. and i have forms to fill out and get signed by 20 million people. and i just want to read and nap a lot.

and i should get some sort of job #2, though i got my pay check from work, and even though i took at least 1 day off during that pay period, and there were some unpaid holidays in there as well, but i'm pretty satisfied with how much i got. now as long as i don't either a) have a nervous breakdown from bothering people during dinner and right after they went to bed and working for a company that does a lot of the Man's dirty work and b) get fired for not making calls per hour... just this one job would be okay. but we will see.

so much for depth and meaning. reading diaries always makes me want to be particularly insightful and reader-worthy in my own, but it hasn't been happening. most of my insighfulness has been used on conversations with jennifer connelly, and that probably means i am a real human being.

i'm supposed to do what i do and do it well, but hell if i know what it is and the cards would not tell me. but i have certainly been feeling more me lately. i said something today that james said was sweet, and later i wished i'd said something like, "see, when i'm me, i can be very sweet. when i'm not me, sometimes i'm just too confused to be sweet."

i wore pigtails today and got comments on them being cute, etc. cute and sweet-- these things will follow me everywhere. better than other adjectives, i suppose. at least i'm not feeling like cynical shit so much these days.

um... that is all.

*listening to: *
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