*"lady, hear me tonight," god, i hate this song. 2001-06-06 4:07 p.m.*

contrary to popular opinion, period induced dizzy spells do not make me happy. thanks.

i did not sleep well at all last night. i have been sleeping undeneath a comforter on the top of the rest of my blankets, with a pillow, robe, stuffed dog, radio, alarm clock, and books to keep me company. that hasn't been a problem thus far. but last night, i started out laying with my head at the top and my feet at the bottom, and my kitten on my chest. but i couldn't sleep and she could so she got annoyed with me and moved to a corner. i curled up around her and then straightened out, so i was sideways on the bed. i still couldn't sleep, and the cramps were really bad, and i was just a very unhappy me about the whole situation. i was tempted to get up and read some more, but i didn't think my eyes could handle it. the last chapter i'd read was "sorrow floats" and it was so intense that i bit my hand when i closed the book. not for pain or anything, just it was too intense to do anything else. i tried to figure out what emotion i was feeling, but i couldn't. i wanted to jump up or cry or just stare at a wall for awhile to recover. i got a lot of wall staring in before i fell asleep. i eventually did fall asleep, but it was very fitful. at one point i woke up, and mom was up (she leaves here at about 6 to go to work, so it was before then), and i'd accidentally turned my radio on with my toe. when i woke up this morning to actually get up, i was upside down, sweating like crazy, and incredibly nauseous. last summer when i was at grassroots, i had a really bad period that made me throw up a whole lot, and i felt just like that. my burps tasted the same, even. i got out of bed, and sat in the bathroom for awhile, but i didn't vomit, yay! but i've been at an even slower pace than i generally am over the summer. i called target, because the woman who interviewed me said i should call after 3 today, and i had to sit down, because i was getting to dizzy from being nervous plus the period shit. the woman who i talked to this time couldn't find my interview sheet but she said she'll talk to the woman who interviewed me, and scheduled me for another interview on friday. geez.

*listening to: *
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