*john says, "weird. mine are byblos." 2001-07-07 8:08 p.m.*

so, i'm bleeding. and i'm having atrocious cramps. it's very disappointing to me that the crampless, low flow dream of a period that i experienced in jacksonville was a false alarm, and that it looks like i will spend a good bit of the next few days in the fetal position whimpering. i've taken 4 ibuprofens thus far and i've been bleeding for 4 hours, and i'm about ready to rip something out of someone because it hurts it hurts it hurts.

and then there's the mystery of what happened when i was in jacksonville. why the 2 nights of bleeding after sex? very very strange.

anyway, i was fortunate to discover that i had my period before going to the library rather than afterwards. my project to ward off sleep last night was to dork it and copy down all the books recommended in the zines i had, all my favorite diaries' favorite authors, and all the books that amazon.com recommends for me. so, today i went to the library with only that list and my library card. the plan was to go to the computers and look up everything on those 10-ish small pages and copy down the call numbers of all that they had. i wasn't expecting them all to be there, or for me to check out all the books that were there, but at least i'd have the reference information for them all. but, alas and alack, they appeared to have no cute stubby pencils! or pens or anything! despite the fact that they had cords where pens should be attached to many of the desks. so, i got really scared of asking them for a pen, because there must be some reason why none were out. so, i wandered around the video section for awhile, but could find nothing. then i decided to check out the kid's videos and immediately found 4 i NEEDED to watch, so i started my pile. i also looked at the kid's books on tape, but that looked like there were way too many that would be good, so i ran away to the reference desk with only one tape. i asked the woman for a pen, and she said, "sure," and pointed to my left. next to my hand was a cup full of pens and pens and pens. so i grabbed the one that looked least like it worked and hid away at a computer. i looked up authors and titles and authors and titles and titles and authors. mom came up to me excited about the barbie book and art book she had found, and i made panicky noises about how i wasn't remotely ready. i asked what time it was, but she didn't know. not even a minute later, the intercom went on. "the time is 4:45. we'd like the library patrons to know that we do close at 5:00 on saturdays, so would you please bring your books to the front and finish your computer sessions!" "aieeee!" i said, because i still had a half page of authors and titles and not a single book yet. so i ran to the shelves and grabbed random books from my list, trying to find the nearest ones. i'm not entirely sure how satisfied i am with what i did get. there are about 6 books i think.

i've started geek love because i think it was the most referenced of all the books on my list. for some reason i thought it was this book that my friend who introduced me to francesca lia block really liked and that she read me a passage of my senior year of high school, but it is very much not that book. so i'm currently on page 8 ("From the beginning I slept in the built-in cupboard beneath the sink in the family living van, and had a collection of exotic sunglasses to shield my sensitive eyes.") adjusting my brain to this book from the book i thought it was.

after my mad dash around the library shelves, mom and i went to dinner at althea's which is across the street from the coffee house i visited the fateful day i missed the bus and stubbornly walked home in the sun for 2 hours. it smelled like my grandma's house, and our table had mr. and mrs. claus salt-shakers that inspired me to tell my mom about the gay boys at new college who didn't know what "kitsch" or "camp" meant when i talked to them. our waiter came up to us and said, "my name is jorge... george," which my mom thought was very cute. "i love cute waiters!" she said as he walked away. it was happy hour, so the meals were $2 cheaper, and came with soup or salad, dessert, and coffee, and they put bread on your table right away anyway. i had a coke, and the vegetarian pesto pasta which was fabulous, and salad with the balsamic vinaigrette, and the dessert was chocolate cake with raspberry sauce between the cake and the icing (they just brought it, we did not get a choice, but i'm not complaining). very pleasing, very filling, and i have a container of pesto pasta for a late night i've got my period munchies snack.

while we were out i just had this feeling that james would call. there were times where like in the middle of the meal i was thinking of being like, "um, maybe we should go," which is just silly. but yes, when we got home there were 2 messages. our answering machine is way fuzzy though, and i couldn't understand the number she gave on the second message that well. i listened to it 4 times, and then called mom over to listen to it with me and check over the numbers i'd written. "well, you can try it," she said. and it was the right number. so she called me back, 'cause i'm po'. and we talked for a half our and i was way hyper and happy from a mix of the coffee that had just kicked in and just hearing her voice. yay her. i consider myself hugged. she asked about you, jennifer connelly, since i told her i got an exciting email from you, and she doesn't have email access where she is. she's anticipatng knowing what you think of something that may have gone into the mail yesterday, so you will have to let me know when it gets there, though it's supposed to be a surprise.

and then mom and i looked at her barbie book that she got from the library, and she pointed out all the dresses and dolls she and her sister had growing up. we still have some of the pieces. we both love the dress that has the big poofed out skirt and the bird house on the bottom, but she never had that. after we looked through that, i went and got barbie: her life and times from the bookshelf. we got that book when i was about 8 or 9, and it's always been fun for me to look through. today i leanred that the original skipper body was used for her friend ricky as well.

i'm talking to john right now. i still haven't told him about the dream i had where our glasses had the exact same frames. i think i'll tell him that now. james and i apparently have the same prescription.

*listening to: *
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