*i hurt. 2001-11-28 7:54 p.m.*

i feel yucky. my head feels heavy and sore, and my body is full of aches. my tummy does not react terribly well to food.

massages are not supposed to affect bodies like this. i can't tell if it was the fact that i didn't have enough water, or that it's doing some good toxin flushing, or if there was some internal organ squooshing. if i touch any area between my ribs and hips, it's all tender, and last night it felt like my internal organs were burning, and there's been lots of diarrhealness. on my walk home, i had images of myself calling up james and telling her "um, i think i'm bleeding internally, could you take me to the hospital?" i feel like a massage wimp, and all i wanna do is sleep, but when i lay down, my head hurts so badly. does anyone want to come over and sit by my bed and give me sips of cold water?

next time, i'm not going to wimp out and i'm going to ask tan aphrodite for a massage, 'cause her massages are so good. and in some ways, i think amber benson cleared up the problem in my right shoulder. there were parts that were really good, and i feel bad, because i know she's worried about her massage ability. and she's just generally a sweet girl. but i'm afeared she fucked up my shit.

*listening to: *
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