*gentle masturbation of the mind. 2001-11-12 9:10 p.m.*

this is the way that paperwriting is supposed to happen. i just wrote 2 pages in an hour, and now i have about a half page left to go. of course now i'm at that conclusion sticking point, but whatever.

the last half of this paper was a critique. i do that well. part of it hurts my heart to sharpen my academic teeth on a book that someone put so much work and time and effort into, and that has been run through the critique mill so many times already, it must be tired, but it's fun at the same time. this is why i'm doing my thesis this way, because it's the way that the words flow. taking apart a work, staring at the sentences, analyzing. it weirds me out that it's what i'm good at and what i do well. i guess i can still be a good person if i am critical, like prof. gnome said, and it's even more possible if my criticalness is about books rather than people, but i still feel like i wish i could use my life for something more than this academic mental masturbation at the expense of someone else's work.

(you have 3 hours to get your diaryname and box # to me. please!!! play secret pals!)

*listening to: *
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