*pulled down the covers we went over the moon. 2002-02-26 1:36 a.m.*

odd little day truly. let's see... i woke up and lazed around and really don't remember the first couple hours of my day. i finally wandered downstairs to make food and discovered that my house was amazingly clean. it was so shocking to both michael and myself that she came over to inspect.

afterwards we went to the 4 winds, but as soon as we got there she remembered she needed to go to the bank, and so she left and i drank my fruity passion, while reading more of on the road and discussing rapperstein with ensimismada, raposa, and anitrak. michael came back and we discussed the possibility of going to the le tigre show and decided we needed some advice from tra. so we went down to b-dorm but before we got to her room we ran into bad poetry girl #3 who wanted to know if we could take her to the doctor because she had o.d.ed on pain meds. so we went to michael's car, but ran into retrocarp who we talked to for a minute and then went to b-dorm with the car. except b.p.g.3 had already called her doctor and was told not to do anything unless it got worse. so we went back to the anthro lab where we had the joy of chatting with retro, who is apparently are new best friend these days. which, i think, is a good thing.

and then it was yoga time. for some reason it was particularly intense today and i couldn't do everything i normally could but it was still really good. and then i had a big salad for dinner at marirott, courtesy of james. and she and jennifer connelly and i chatted until michael came, and we were soon on our way to ybor city for the le tigre concert. basically the first people we saw were new college students, before we even parked, but after we parked and walked over to the venue we discovered that le tigre was not going to play, although the butchies were. we were not so excited about that, though there were a LOT of cute dykey girls. so we wandered around ybor looking for an exciting place for dessert foods, but finding none, we left ybor (after i peed in a pizza place).

we came back and put some exciting dollar storenesses in people's boxes. new college really needs more of these randomnesses, i think. we've become pretty boring i think. and not gay enough, and certainly not lesbian enough, yo.

quiz: do you know any lesbians from my class, except for myself?

anyway... i had an odd little moment as we were coming back from the le tigre concert. kind of disturbing really, because it means that people everywhere could be having these moments all the time and you'd never know. i was even conversing like a normal human being and everything. well, i did get sort of quiet, but i mean, lulls happen in all conversations. but yeah... i was sitting in the car, and suddenly, i was seriously right back in exish's car on the way back from gay day at disneyworld. some song on the radio triggered it, though it just reminded me of this song i heard that night. and not even the specific song because i can't remember what it was, but it had a dance beat too, and it had some sort of sexual lyrics, and i remembered sort of singing along, and wondering what she would think and feeling really oddly embarassed about my sexuality. not that i was gay, but that i was sexual at all. and somehow my ability to cum while dancing came up and i felt like the uberslut of the earth really, and the lights were flashing by and i remembered how grumpy i felt and the way the cheetoes tasted and the way they made my mouth and stomach feel, all puckered and gross, but satisfied. and i felt gross but unsatisfied...

and of course the rest of the night went into replay in my head, and i'm not sure how much i want to repeat here, because i feel like it might make michael uncomfortable, and i dunno... but i hate censoring myself, but i'm tired of the porn searches coming here... i guess, just... "beware."

so yeah, i remember the way my bloody toilet would not stop flushing. it was the beginning of the summer and i was staying in a pei room under the guise of helping to move stuff to the new nat sci building. i'd already gotten locked out of my room once, and there was no one around really at all, except for horns and tail who i would talk to as i sorted lengths of tube into boxes in the old nat sci buildings. and it first happened when the exish used the bathroom and she thought it was her fault, but it was just the way things tend to be over break really.

and i remember the way my pink winnie the pooh pajamas really felt too small for me, but i was wearing them anyway, and i remember how clean she smelled after getting out of the shower. and i remember the night passing so oddly, in and out of sleep, and the making out and all that, and how suddenly, accidentally, we were having sex. neither of us had had sex before, and i was so afraid of what she thought of me still, but i just accidentally made her breath change, and then i was discovering just how wet and warm someone else could be, and it was really about the most amazing thing ever. it was one of those moments in my life where my lesbianism was so sure and wonderful and i didn't understand how anyone wouldn't want to spend their whole lives doing this with girls. except then it wasn't enough, and i had to know what she tasted like, but i was so afraid, really. terrified that she would think i was a horrible person for wanting to know. but i told her and she did not hit me or leave or become a mujameedan with a teacozy hat or anything at all, and i found my new favorite thing to do ever. and her asking why people ever did anything else after having sex for the first time. and i remember laying there, sleepy, with my head resting on her thigh, looking up at her, and how beautiful she was, and then she said she wanted to do that to me, but she was afraid. and i said it was okay, but somehow she was down there...

except, we know where this story ends, and that's not with my discovering some even newer form of ecstasy, but instead, me holding her as she vomitted in my continuously flushing toilet (and i'm kind of laughing here through my tearish eyes, because it was so absurd really), and her apologizing and saying it wasn't me, and me saying i knew, but secretly wondering what sort of disease i had down there that was that horrible, even though i knew it was a combination of so many things... but we cuddled back in bed and there were many more hot wet nights and days and mornings in that week before i left, and even the "i have a gross undesirable moldy vagina" story ended up pleasantly, almost exactly one year later.

but yes, so that's the moral of my entry. be careful around people, because they may just be graphically reliving their first time having hot lesbian sex in their heads.

sorry michael.

*listening to: *
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