*Why do people have to grow up and marry, change? 2002-05-13 1:43 p.m.*

skinnydipping alone at night is kind of strange. especially when the sky is that particular shade of black that signals that a storm is coming soon. but it was something that felt necessary at the time, and soothing and perfect and a little scary, but don't we all just want things to be a little intense and scary. i was paranoid and maybe a little hallucinatory from lack of sleep and stress from this weekend, and i kept thinking i saw people or heard them coming near me, but once i kind of accepted that part of the night, i was able to wash the yuckiness of the weekend off of me. i'd already managed to do a good bit of that on my own, when i had one of my minor breakdowns that i always get in multiples at the end of the school year (remember, i'm not enrolled, but i've still got friends leaving, and things changing, and life being kind of big and bad). this time it involved loud choking sobs that made my body shake. one should not think when one is tired. one should just sleep, really. which is what i did when the crying and the swimming were done. and i slept for a good long time, and now i'm awake and it's kind of impressive when you can look at how you were for a weekend and how tired and rundown you were, and to feel refreshed comparatively. and maybe you're sad about some of the same things and stuff, but it doesn't feel so world ending.

*listening to: *
<<< | >>>

*<<<<<* *<<* *<* | *>* *>>* *>>>>>*
*random* *list*