*bleeeeeeeeeeehhhh. 2002-03-29 3:44 p.m.*
i've been drinking tea and soup to make me feel better, but i only feel feverish. i want coolness, but am too full of liquids to drink water. i feel like a bloated sweat monster.
but my kitten still loves me. she sits on my lap and looks up at me when i stop typing and i reach my face down and she reaches her face up and i kiss her nose.
she is kitten. she is eternally kitten, because she's still that tiny ball of squeals that i carried around with me.
and i would be the last to know i would be the last to let it show i would be the last to go.
i wonder if i would drift in and out of a feverish consciousness if i took off work today, or if i would sit around antsy, full of hot liquids and guilt. and what if it is worse tomorrow? i can't miss two days. my managers and my finances will not allow it. the managers would probably care less than my finances.
i woke up this morning tasting and smelling vomit, feeling like i was drowning in my own snot, wanting to sink back away from all of it, but afraid that i really would drown. it took me 3 hours to attempt food, and i'm still not so sure about that. of course food has interacted poorly with me lately as it is. what sort of bug is this?
i told my mom about it and she was sympathetic and told me that maybe it had something to do with the moon. maybe this is just what my period will be like this time, shedding unfortunate liquid through every pore and orifice.
but don't you know talking about a revolution sounds like a whisper poor people gonna rise up and get their share poor people gonna rise up and get what's theirs.
i don't want to do anything but read really. i'm devouring books because they're the only thing i can digest properly. i walk with them, eat with them, sleep with them. right now, they're the only companions i want. they're the only things i don't feel like snapping at.
after i get over this bug, my brain and bladder will be tired.
*listening to: *
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