*excerpts from an email to my aunt: 2001-05-30 12:33 a.m.*

excerpts from an email to my aunt:

i really wish i knew where my copy of under the pink (tori amos) was. i'd like to listen to it right now. i just finished reading violet and claire by francesca lia block, which i had never read before, and it actually refers to one of the songs on that album, and now i'd really like to listen to it. i think violet and claire might right this second be my favorite francesca lia block book. i don't know if it's just that "just read it" glow, though. i really recommend it though.

when i was in school, i lived in a dorm. a single, tiny, closet sized dorm. i did the whole roommate thing my first semester and it made me want to hit things, so i've had single rooms ever since. i'm actually going to be living off campus next year. i have no idea where or who with and that scares me quite a bit. i was supposed to live with 2 of my friends in a house this summer, but the landlord who had been fine about my kitten suddenly changed his mind. so i'm at home for the summer, and that's nice but weird. i don't go home much. it's hard when i don't drive and it's such a long drive from selby to school to here.

...

hm.... you talked about dad a lot in your email. i think i've been talking about him too much lately. i'm out of things to say for awhile. well, there was the thing in your survey about how your favorite noise is that guitar squeak sound and it totally is one of mine, and a big part of that is because it reminds me of the good parts of dad. but yeah, i was really excited when you wrote that because i didn't think anyone else noticed that or liked it.

i totally love welcome to the dollhouse, though it makes me sad. i so was that girl. yikes. i'm surprised i never started a special people's club.

so, yeah... my excuse to everyone about late email has been "oh, i was too busy with school," which is mainly true, and i mean, it was over 2 weeks since i wrote you and i've only been busy with other things in the past two weeks, but the point of what i'm saying is that i've been busy these past 2 weeks, but not just with the academic side of things. see, i'd had this crush on this girl for at least half the semester. and not one of those "i don't know this person let me worship them from afar" crushes, but one of those "this person and i really click, i'd like to spend a whole lot more time with them." but i had this memory in my mind of this time we had been talking about something and i'd said something about straight girls and she said, "well, speaking as a straight girl...," so i did that categorizing people thing that i do, as a self-defense mechanism thing mainly, and said to myself, "okay, she's a straight girl." and it was getting closer and closer to my birthday and my friends were saying "look jasmine, she's flirting with you," and i was saying, "but she's straaaaaaaaight!" and then my birthday party happened and it got all middle school, because she found out i had a crush on her from a friend, and i found out she liked me, too, from a friend, and then we avoided each other for awhile, but eventually, we kissed and talked about things, and the point of the whole story is that i have a girlfriend now, and so i've been distracted as well as busy, though i like to blame it all on busy. she lives in jacksonville, and i'm here in venice, and so we're writing each other effusive and gooey emails about how much we miss each other, and it's all kind of sad in that dramatic young love kind of way, but happy too.

oh, and i got a kitten, and she also keeps me distracted. her name is my secret agent lover cat, but usually she's referred to as secret, ferocious, or kit-ten (it has to be said the right way). she's completely crazy and the cats here don't know what to think of her at all. she's asleep on my bed right now, having exhausted herself with too much playing with air.

have you ever seen harold and maude?

okay. going. i love you. i'm so glad we got back in contact with each other. i hope i don't seem hopelessly self-absorbed.

*listening to: *
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