*someday my tempting fate with diaryland will end very badly. 2003-06-12 3:52 p.m.*

okay, so we fell for each other back in the day but she was all, "ack! my head is fucked up and i'm afraid of hurting you."

so i'm like, "um, okay, let me just surgically remove you from my heart. *remove remove remove* okay, i'm fine now. we will have to spend a little less time with each other now, though. besides i'm depressed and my dad died and i'm just not feeling social." and she's like, "oh, that's fine, except wait, no, i will guilt trip you about never going out anywhere with me anymore." and i was like, "i feel like crap. i will now spend even less time with you."

and so, la la la, we talked on the phone like once every 2 weeks and then, we had this really nice visit a little before i graduated, and all our chemistry was back and i was like, "woohoo!" and so i was brave and was like, "we should make out before i leave," and she was like, "yes. and actually i am not afraid like i used to be, so let's have what we were supposed to have back then." and i'm like, "woohoo! cuddly touchy kissy, maybe sex!" and she's like, "making out with you is great! now let me invite you over to spend the night and talk about myself the whole time, and never lay a hand on you until you curl up into my arms and sob."

and so i'm like, "i won't tell you because i'm leaving and i don't want to hurt you, but i want you to die a vicious horrible death." and she's like, "now that you aren't here, let me tell you that i wrote a song for you and am totally in love with you and will miss you." and i'm like, "die die die. rot in hell."

and she's like, "now that i have proved that i am self-absorbed and really care about you not at all, no matter what i say, let me tell you about my sexual exploits from last night."

and so i run away.

the end.

*listening to: *
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