*how to make poisoned cookies. 2001-05-04 2:13 a.m.*

How to Make Poisoned Cookies

Where were you last night? No, really, I�d like to know. I won�t get mad. I

promise I won�t get mad. Just tell me where you were last night while I was here alone

worrying about you, wondering if you�d get home alive. I�d really appreciate it if you

could tell me what it was that was so important that you weren�t here to save me when I

almost died.

Were you sleeping with some woman while I was here, making you cookies?

They�re cold, just so you know. I think the mice have been nibbling them. Do you want

one? I really think you should have one.

No, don�t take the attention off of yourself by asking how I almost died last night.

You don�t care about it. You just want me to forget about the fact that you weren�t here

when I needed you. Well, you know what? I�ve decided I don�t need you. You can leave

for all I care. In fact, maybe you should leave.

I didn�t need you to save me when I almost died. I lived and you weren�t there.

And I can live while you continue to be gone. It�ll be fine. I think you should go.

Stop looking at me like that. That�s fake concern in your eyes. No, I did not hit

my head last night. I just sort of fell. I didn�t injure myself at all. The fact is that I almost

did, and you would have been asleep in her arms and you would never have known how

much I needed you at that moment when I nearly poked my eyes out and impaled myself.

Don�t worry about it. It didn�t happen. That�s the important part. Now, I�d like

you to leave. Now.

Okay, if you�d really like to know, I was making your cookies, and I had all the

ingredients and the mixer out on the counter, except for the flour. I was reaching up for it

when your damn cat came and wound herself around my legs. I stumbled and nearly

impaled myself on the mixer, and poked my eyes out on the knife rack.

Now wouldn�t you feel bad if that happened.

Okay, fine, go. See if I care.

Don�t forget your cookies.

*listening to: *
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