*smash a glass. 2003-01-20 2:55 p.m.*

i'm in the process of dying my hair. and when i say that, i mean, at this point the dye has taken to my face more than my hair. and, oh god, my hands. "blood rushing to my face" is nothing compared to the coloring going on here. they're so saturated with this red color that they look like all of the blood in my body is located there. but yeah, i dyed my hair last night and it wound up looking like someone had taken a photograph of me and scribbled a kind of magenta/maroon marker over my hair... and got it on my face, too.

so i'm redoing it again today, and this time i have saran wrap on my head. i'm just so sexy i can hardly stand it.

i went to check my mail today, since i'm waiting for 50 thousand packages today, but i tried to hide the sides of my face in a hoodie, but i think it kind of just looked like i didn't want people to know my temples were bleeding.

meanwhile, i've become utterly antisocial. i sat in my room with the lights out to avoid people last night. a huge part of it was just the shame of the bad dye job, but part of me just really doesn't want to see anyone, except laurel tree, because she has become used to my quirks. i'm supposed to help one of my friends pack to leave the country, and the land under my bed seems much more appealing.

i'm going to atlanta on thursday. the thought petrifies me. i mean, it's good, i'm excited, but... well, it's dorky, i'm meeting someone i'm close to only through this crazy online medium. that's usually a petrifying experience (yes, i've done it before), but... usually i kind of know what's going on. but... this time around, i'm like, um... "so, i said we should be just friends till my visit. do you still want to be more now that i'm here?" i have this feeling that something Big has changed, but i have no idea what it is, and... yeah. mrph.

*listening to: "theme song" - too much joy*
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