*there is no this... wait i've said that already. 2002-08-31 6:12 a.m.*

it was my wall tonight and it was long and it was strong and it was bound to get the friction on... and people enjoyed themselves. i enjoyed myself. i almost cried with joy at one point. my body hurts in that good way that comes from dancing your heart out for 5 hours and 15 minutes... people did the chicken dance, and there were people i don't know well still around at the end. it was helluv rockin'.

but yeah, it's the remembrance of 4 lips, none of which were mine, kissing, that is making me feel a little craptastic. yes, it may be true that i go through these things like other people go through popcorn or trashy novels or kleenex... they're still intense and beautiful and dreamy and... not what i meant to happen at all. not where i meant to be with this stuff and these things. and it's embarassing and juvenile to feel like i do right now. i know all the wrongness, but you see there was stuff going on in my head tonight that may have possibly gotten through itself by tomorrow, but nipped in the bud like it was... it's still there... i'm not making sense and that's the plan and cloves don't smell like ham at 5 am. they smell like chai. a ha... the circle is completed.

*listening to: *
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