*"i'm sorry if i acted weird around you at all tonight, it's just that, um, well, you have boobies." 2002-03-10 5:28 a.m.*

the things that come out of my mouth, lord have mercy. why am i this person!? i ask myself that many times each day. i mean, not even in a bad way, just in a "this person is really weird and i know her and like her and she is me."

but you see, really and truly, i am sparkly queen areola. it's true. actually, apparently i am pussy personified, which you know is wonderful and great, and honestly, basically my dream, but... i feel like if bitch and animal had seen the "flashdance" shall we say, that my dress was trying to make happen, they would have realized what a sparkly queen areola i am.

but yeah, after the amazing hoedown between diana and dredgirl, i somehow got singled out as the pussy in the pussy gown that made me a mermaid. really, some days i am a rock star. and i have such a rock star fan club. beau sia, jill sobule, bitch and animal, they all love me.

and then there was my attempt at conversation with bitch which wound up with me curled up on the floor shaking. i'm such a tard. a rockstar, but a tard. but yay for friends who go and get my cd signed for me because i can't deal with life.

the wall was also a fun time, though i think the dairy o'clock beat out the whiskey o'clock for awhile, and i had to sit and make sure my tummy and i were still friends. but eventually we made up and i was able to get up and dance, and eventually the fact that i am a 12 year old boy diguised as pussy, was overcome.

interesting conversations with dykesscent about baseball. and althought all references to pitchers and catchers made me giggle, i think i may have gleaned some good if sobering advice. mmm... metaphors.

definitely a better night than last night. i mean, last night was really not SOOO very bad, i just had a horribly off moment in the bouncy castle that made me have to stare at myself in the mirror in the ham center bathrooms and cry about what a scared little idiot i am. but i got over after a bit, and even tried to conquer the bouncy castle hours later. but then it popped 'cause of some boy and i had another slight panic moment. one of those moments when you are convinced you will die and you are picturing your darwin awards-worthy obituary. and you are amused and disturbed by your panic, but at the same time, you know you are going to die a horrible gruesome death.

you know i think somewhere in there is something of my philosophy of life. well, not my philosophy, but the way i tend to wind up looking at life. i flip, and i know i'm being ridiculous, but i also know that some sort of major disaster will happen.

and just when i start to feel like being brave, someone bring up the baseball metaphors. perhaps some day.

*listening to: *
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