*never stuck around long enough for a one night stand. 2004-02-09 6:35 p.m.*
i want to say thick and honest things here, but i just don't know what. my world is sending emails back and forth between coworkers telling each other we will applaud when whoever walks out first walks out. it has been burlesque shows with naked trapeze artists. it has been a new bed that feels like home. it has been butter yelling a lot because he loooooves to talk. it has been a loud and iffy fire alarm that hates it when you cook. it has been dealing with another bit of my father's financial inheritance. it has been a different kind of orgasm for every day of the week. it has been tears that scare me for the world, and familiar comforting phone calls that tell me that yes, sometimes you get scared, but sometimes everyone gets scared, and the fact of the fear is not the end of everything. it has been missing things the way they were but not wanting them really. it has been pining for seattle while in it. it has been this guy who sits on a stool outside my building smoking and coughing and telling his life story to the air. it has been finding trannies with scared eyes. it has been finding ways to feel connected to my breasts again. it has been trying to start a distro when the usps is an assface. it has been having someone to want to buy every stuffed animal i see for. it has been food issues and always wanting to feel full because of the time just months ago when i couldn't let myself. it has been a lot of things. but... it's hard to put it into words.
*listening to:"wild is the wind" - david bowie* <<< |
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