*something pretty while i can. 2002-11-15 12:14 a.m.*

today was a day of no intense emotion. i'm not sure how i feel about that. i feel like i should be sad today, but i'm just not. and i don't have the energy to plumb the depths for the sad. i'm not full of joy, either, even though i got an exciting mix tape in the mail today and i'm very happy that retro got and enjoyed her scarf. but the feelings just pass me over. and it's numbness but more of a calm than despairing numbness, though i wouldn't call it content either.

i went to class yesterday. and i had a counselor appointment. and i took a nap. and i got a massage. and each was emotionally and physically draining in its own way. but maybe getting through the day broke through some of the sad. i have no thursday classes, but i did do a couple productive things that even involved leaving the dorm room, which i haven't really been doing unless it's for shopping or food.

i don't know why i'm writing this except to get rid of that last post.

*listening to: *
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