*you's a hoe. 2001-05-02 10:35 p.m.*

i feel itchy. not physically itchy, just itchy in my skin. itchy like trapped, like tear this off of me it bothers me. like i don't want to be at school anymore i want to be the girl in the dumb story throwing starfish in the water. i want to be a folkstar. i want to wonder as i wander out under the sky because i am wandering out under the sky rather than in a computer lab avoiding paul tillich. it's not so much that i want things it's that i don't want things.

or maybe i want things.

or maybe i'm too high up the hierarchy of needs to be satisfied.

but i was satisfied. for a few days there i was satisfied.

i haven't sung in awhile again, i lost my voice, is that sad is that better for us all?

i am not goth. i am not indie rock. i am not a hippie. i reject labels. despite the fact that i am not bisexual.

can't we all get along despite our cliques and not think that everyone outside of our world is a freak. because they're thinking you're a freak too.

hallmark card.

stream-of-consciousness.

i want to read francesca lia block books. read how the reason weetzie bat didn't like high school was because no one understood. read about duck hunting and rubber chicken. and rag mop r-a-g-g m-o-p-p doodley doo. life seems satisfying when you read those books. you feel like everything and you yourself are slam dunk slink chunk slinkster cool people.

i want to play with my secret agent lover kitty. i saw the exish's girlfriend's older sister today and she told me that my secret agent lover kitty misses me. i need some kitty lovin'.

ironically enough or maybe not ironically at all, the blond girl with the puppy with the tube just came in and there was some cuddle time. that puppy says, "why am i not gaining weight? why do i have a tube in my stomach? why are my eyes so sad? i should be wrestling with a stick these days."

the diaryland craze is so that, so crazy. a crazy craze.

if you have problems printing, please notify lab administrator. afer hours, please consult the troubleshooting manual that is sitting by the printer.

considering cremation.

i had half-baked, pina colada sorbet, and lemon custard ice cream. no wonder i feel unsatisfied. i am spoiled. cold spoiled milk.

*listening to: *
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