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*all this yelling is taking avay my horny. 2001-11-18 8:49 p.m.*

i am sleepy. i woke up at 9 today but went back to bed, and woke up every hour after that till i got up at 1, but yeah, no sleeping till almost 7 in the 1st place, so there is sleepiness.

today was also a pretty good day, and all in all the weekend has been really good, but there's still this slight gray grumbliness about everything. thumbs down to that, sleepiness, and pms.

one very good thing has been the secret palness of my life. i got a package from my secret pal from the first secret pals project i got involved in and it had a new pretty journal in it and yummy sour jelly belly jelly beans. and my new college secret pal is the best ever, too. i got the most brilliant thing ever in my box today-- enough quarters for a load of laundry. woo for my secret pal! what a fabulous idea! and there have been stickers and little cards and oh the fun! and i have a really good idea for the last gift for my secret pal.

kitten is sooo weird! she keeps cuddling and then attacking my hand. actually, that's sort of how i feel too.

so um, yeah, yesterday was a real good time. those meteors were so beautiful, and it was great to share it with the rest of the 3 headed monster. i felt oddly lonely and grumbly during the early part of the evening, but then i took off most of my clothes and jumped in the water and that helped things. it was bloody cold out, and i'm so glad i brought so many blankets, because even through them i was shivering lots, but the shared body heat of the three headed monster helped a lot. i wished i had been able to hang out more with the rest of the people who showed up, but the only time i was feeling really social while they were there was when they were talking about slaughtering animals and that was too much for me.

there was so much giggleness last night between the threeheaded monster, and i can totally identify with blackbird's last entry about things that won't be so funny tomorrow.

darn kitten just ripped into the webbing between my thumb and pointer finger really bad. ow!

anyway... before all this was the dance tutorial which was really good, particularly the russian dance (particularly buttercup) and the last one, which was so visually beautiful. and i had wonderful el greconess beforehand with the wonderful michael.

and the backtracking has taken me to the other big thing that happened yesterday. and the thing is i'm not even entirely sure how to write about it. i think the biggest deal about it was how good i was at keeping it a secret for so long, and how nervous i was beforehand. but yeah. like another new college diarylander or two, i will be in the erotic magazine that's being put out by two new college students and sponsored by santa claus. i think the thing that weirds me out about it the most now, is santa claus. but whatever. apparently he's already known when i've been sleeping and when i've been awake, and he's known when i've been bad or good (what a scary song, really). but yeah, it was really just nice and comfortable, and once the camera was actually going, i forgot about my large ass and my stretchmarks and the fact that if i lay down in certain ways i grow more chins. we joked around a lot, and michael was there for moral support, and there will be pictures of me with fingerless gloves, boas, masks, kissing my cat, growling at my cat, straddling my teddy bear, and showering. really a lot of fun, and i'm superglad i did it. i am the bravest girl ever.

*listening to: *
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