*ping pong moods. 2001-11-08 12:44 p.m.*

so, i am out of bed. i had this very bizarre dream, last night, about myself being in this play, and looking for other cast members from all over the world. so i was flying all over the world with my grandmother (who was worldly and rich in my dream, though that is not the case), and the last thing i remember of that dream was flying into the jakarta airport. somewhere, it all regrettably turned into a sex dream (with james, not my grandmother), and what was most regrettable was that i basically relived one night that we really did have together, in my dream. so, then i woke up with my alarm, but decided that a better use of what should have been class time was to clutch my arms around myself and cry, and think about all the sexual things that i will miss, and then scold myself about how obviously i'm a horrible person because apparently all i miss about the relationship is sex. and the standard, "it's been 3 weeks, you should be over this, you're obsessive and weird and selfish" scolding.

but i finally got out of bed and ate brunch and watched tv until my husband came home and then after he had his lunch, we both went to campus, and that is where i am now, in the palmer a lab. besides entry writing and email checking, i'm doing my part over at the amnesty website because they have all these handydandy prewritten emails to send to bad bad people. except that site just froze. and i'm also discovering that someone found my site by googling diaryland. and mine is the 2nd site that comes up. woo!

oh, and so last night, i let my cat out of my room for awhile, so that she wouldn't get so restless. and after awhile, the house got really quiet. so i went out on the balcony to check on her, and she wasn't there, but sunny was looking down at the ground and meowing. i peer over, call out, "kitten" and see this little tiny kitten face and hear this little tiny kitten mew, and run downstairs to gather up her little tiny kitten body, but of course she's totally fine, except that her paws are cold. i really think that the only way she could have gotten there is by jumping or falling off the balcony. i'm glad she's safe, but what a brat, yo!

so, you see, my mood fluctuates. the thing is it seems that right now it's just going from mood to mood, like a ping pong ball, and i don't really know what's making it go from mood to mood.

anyway... malraux did this survey and i got suckered into it, because i do have this quote list and it looked like fun. so yes, i'll close the entry with that.

Who are you?

"When I was young, my ambition was to be one of the people who made a difference in the world. My hope still is to leave the world a bit better for my having been here."

-Jim Henson

"You know and I know, I don't know me very well."

-Tori Amos

What do you look like?

There are few things as seemingly untouched by the real world as a child asleep.

-John Irving

What's your secret?

"'You remind me of a lamb. But you know what else Charlie Bat said? He said that black sheeps express everyone else's anger and pain. It's not that they have all the anger and pain-- they're just the only ones who let it out. Then the other people don't have to. But you face things, Witch Baby. And you help us face things. We can learn from you. I can't stand when someone I love is sad, so I try to take it away without just letting it be. I get so caught up in being good and sweet and taking care of everyone that sometimes I don't admit when people are really in pain.'"

-Weetzie Bat in

Witch Baby by

Francesca Lia Block

Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.

-Yoda

Pain penetrates

Me drop

by drop

-Sappho

What do you want to be?

"There is room for everybody on the planet to be creative and conscious if you are your own person. If you're trying to be like somebody else, then there isn't."

-Tori Amos

What can't you do?

Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop.

Lewis Carrol, from Alice in Wonderland

What is love?

Do not wrong or hate your neighbor for it is not he that you wrong but yourself.

Native American Proverb (Pima)

(i also have this poem in my room that i'll put up here when i get back there.)

What is friendship?

"Not minding, that's what friends are for."

--Ernie, sesame street

"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."

-Clarence in

It's a Wonderful Life

It is the friends that you can call at 4 a.m. that matter.

Marlene Dietrich

Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

Anais Nin

What are you afraid of?

"'Life is pain," his mother said. 'Anybody that says different is selling something.'"

-The Princess Bride

by William Goldman

"It's nice to love things, Judy."

"If ye don't be loving them too hard. If ye do... they hurt ye too much in the ind."

-Pat of Silver Bush

by L. M. Montgomery

It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.

Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes comic strip, 1994

He screamed, "Why?" into the darkness, but the darkness did not answer, and after a million years he stopped listening for the answer

-Marion Zimmer Bradley, Hunters of the Red Moon

"I walked into your dream and now I've forgotten how to dream my own dream"

-Tori Amos "Mother"

Are you strong?

"History has recorded some pretty nasty things that have happened to people. I think we remember, I think it's in our cells and I think it can still hurt sometimes."

Tori Amos

"'My pain is ugly, Angel Juan. I feel like I have so much ugly pain,"says Witch Baby in a dream.

'Everyone does, ' Angel Juan says. 'My mother says that pain is hidden in everyone you see. She says try to imagine it like big bunches of flowers that everyone is carrying around with them. Think of your pain like a bunch of red roses, a beautiful thorn necklace. Everyone has one.'"

-Witch Baby

by Francesca Lia Block

"God asks no man whether he will accept life. That is not the choice. You must take it. The only question is how."

-Henry Ward Beecher

What would you do with a million dollars?

A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

What would you tell the one who loves you?

Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart, don't know how to laugh either.

-Golda Meir

What do you want to do?

"Unless someone like you

cares a whole awful lot,

nothing is going to get better.

It's not."

-The Lorax by Dr. Seuss

"I have stretched cords from steeple to steeple, garlands from window to window, chains of gold from star to star, and I dance."

-Rimbaud

Where do you want to be?

"Anywhere I am is HERE.

Anywhere I am not is THERE."

-Grover

"'Once upon time,' Witch Baby said.

At dinner that night, Witch Baby looked up at the globe lamp in the center of the table. Suddenly, as if a genie had touched it, the lamp bloomed with jungles and forests, fields and gardens, became shining and restless with oceans and rivers, burned with fires, volcanoes and radiation, sparkled with deserts, beaches and cities, dances with bodies at work in factories and on farms, bodies in worship, playing music, loving, dying in the streets, flesh of many colors on infinite varieties of the same form of bones. And there-- so tiny-- Witch Baby saw their city.

This is the time we're upon."

-Witch Baby

by Francesca Lia Block

Who do you love?

"In the life of each of us there is a place remote and islanded, and given to endless regret or secret happiness. We are each the uncompanioned hermit and recluse of an hour or a day; we understand our fellows of the cell, to whatever age of history they may belong."

from: "The Country of The Pointed Firs" by Sarah Orne Jewett

What do you want?

"Valentine sat beside Ping, circling her with his sleek arm, and grinned down at Witch Baby. 'Wish on everything. Pink cars are good, especially old ones. And stars of course, first stars and shooting stars. Planes will do if they are the first light in the sky and look like stars. Wish in tunnels, holding your breath and lifting your feet off the ground. Birthday candles. Baby teeth.'"

-Witch Baby

by Francesca Lia Block

"Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?

Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?"

-T. S. Eliot

``Each of you is the only one of you who will ever dance your own tarantella...listen to yourself, then you don't think of Death anymore! You think of Life!''

-"Nonno Frankie" Vivona,

as quoted in Paul Zindel's

The Pigman and Me

*listening to: *
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